poisonwood's Diaryland Diary

Date: Sept. 03, 2004 . Time: 6:15 p.m.

oh baby Entry:

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oh baby

What do you do when you and a co-worker are browsing amazon.com looking for books on controls and sensing using matlab and simulink and a window pops up with a mostly naked woman chained and gagged looking at us laciviously? What do you do with if your coworker is using two screens and this pop-up is on the screen closest to you and he doesn't notice it? Do you say, excuse me, the naked woman is distracting me . . . or do you wait for him to notice it and stammer in shock and embarrassment. (It is after all his computer. So, coworker, what kind of websites have you been browsing lately???)

6:15 p.m. - Sept. 03, 2004

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on work

Another day, another dollar. Thank God it's Friday has a lot more meaning when you actually don't have to work on the weekends. That's the one plus about working instead of grad school. I think grad school is better in the end, because there are always days when I don't have to do much, and they usually occur in bunches at the beginning of the quarter or after exams. Anyway, my point is that I've been too exhausted to appreciate my weekends (all one of them that is) so far. Hopefully that will change.

People down South always seem to get to work early. Daniel says he goes in at 7:45. When I worked in TX, I used to go in at 7:45 as well, and I definitely wasn't the first one in. 8:30 was considered extremely late. Here, I come at 8:30 and I'm midway in between. There's no point in coming earlier, because most people just come earlier and stay later. Since working insane numbers of hours a week is basically not cool with me, I figure I might as well come in a little later and waltz out with the early leavers. Is this a bad attitude?

8:26 a.m. - Sept. 03, 2004

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my exciting life

K and I ended up discussing the future tonight. A thorny issue indeed. Thinking about it makes me a bit nauseous. I just want to live for the moment, but if I were truly living only for the moment, I wouldn't be stranded in Seattle hundreds and even thousands of miles from all the people I care about. On a personal level, I'm neither living for the present nor the future. On a professional level, I think I'm doing what is best for both, assuming I want to pursue a technical, aerospace-related career path.

I'm really excited about moving into my new apartment. It looks like my stuff will get here around the 10th or so, so I'll have it almost immediately after I move in. I can't wait. It'll be great to be in a nice place that's all my own outside the noise and traffic of the city. Among other things, I can stop running on the treadmill. I've always hated treadmills, but this one is especially bad. There is no TV or even music in the room, and except for one night, I have in fact been the only person exercising. There is absolutely no motivation or distractions.

11:01 p.m. - Sept. 01, 2004

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gilmore girls galore

Surviving. Two days down, three to go until the week is over and Kamran comes to visit and a three day weekend. I'm analyzing some interesting data, and I work with some very smart people. I just wish they were younger and more feminine.

I've been watching a lot of TV. This is really the first time in my life that I've had unrestricted access to a TV. I'm enjoying it a little too much. I'm starting to know the commericals and the storylines of shows. I'm wondering what's going to happen in 7th Heaven and Gilmore Girls. Of course, I'm watching reruns. They'll probably start showing premiers and stuff and I won't know what's going on. I'm also developing an unhealthy appreciation for Everybody Loves Raymond. I should really take up a hobby. After I run, though, all I want to do is veg.

11:12 p.m. - Aug. 31, 2004

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good God, don't tell me he's Irish

Humiliatingly, it appears the obnoxious man who disrupted the Olympic marathon and possibly cost the Brazilian the gold. I cringe everytime I hear word Irish. How terrible. I was horrified before I knew he was Irish; now it's even worse.

1:45 p.m. - Aug. 29, 2004

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in your hot little hands

Ever since the point disparity in the South Korean's routine, I've maintained that the protest is somewhat ridiculous. THe SK athlete scored a 9.712. It's my belief that judges note down a few deductions and then give whatever score they feel like given. REgardless of the start value, if they want to give the Korean gymnast a 9.712, that's what they'll give him. Today, my belief was somewhat vindicated. A gymnastics commentator pointed out that a gymnast is only allowed three stationary handstand holds in a rountine, or there is a 0.2 deduction. THe Korean gymnast had four. Hence, a score of 9.812 would be impossible. So really, they are correct that his start value wasn't a 9.9. It was a 9.8.

8:35 p.m. - Aug. 27, 2004

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I think all I may talk about from now on is my job.

I've been reading dooce for a while now (along with a million other people), basically since her baby was born. I think before the baby, it may have been a different blog, but I've mostly only experienced the post-baby blog, which, not surprisingly, is mostly about the baby. It's gradually climbed my list of blogs until it could possibly be my favorite. Or maybe second favorite. Regardless, it's up there. And today's entry is more than slightly depressing. I've never met or spoken to this woman. I really wish I could do something, though.

Yesterday, it took me nearly an hour to get home from work. Today, it took about 15 minutes. I'm still not completely sure what the difference was, but I think it has something to do with the fact that it rained yesterday. Due to the boxes of books in my trunk (I think) my car was skidding all over the road. To say it was stressful would be the understatement of the century. I was just praying to get home without having an accident, and it just went on and on and on . . .

I feel a lot of pressure to be productive on this job. The only other time I really felt like this was at my internship in Ireland; there the expectations were less, but they were definitely there. They had hired me to complete a stated task. It is very unlike when I worked for Boeing, and they were all, -Take your time, don't worry if you don't understand stuff right away, this is a learning experience for you, etc., etc., etc. Not so here.

6:15 p.m. - Aug. 26, 2004

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dull day

Three days down, two to go. Amazing that less than two weeks ago, I was in sunny California. That seems a long way away now.

I can't even think of anything to write. All I've been doing lately is get up, go to work, come home, run, eat, talk to K, and go to bed. Not very exciting.

8:06 a.m. - Aug. 26, 2004

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running, raining, running, crying

First days of work are always tough. I've started eight jobs that I can think of off the top of my head, and I don't remember a first day every being particularly joyful. Some, of course, are worse than others. Yesterday was kind of middling as first days go . . . ie., it sucked. Not because anything terrible happened, or because people weren't nice and welcoming. It was just hard not knowing anyone, not knowing how to do anything, just feeling lost . . . and kind of trapped. Of the eight jobs I've started, this is the first that's sleighted to last longer than five months. And no matter how terrible it is, I will stay at least a year. If it's good, I'll stay at least two. And if it's great, I might stay longer.

Anyway, I came home and cried on the phone to Kami, as one does. He bought a ticket to come see me, for Labor Day. I can't wait. He's so cute. He's training for his first 5k. I love how innocent he is about the whole running thing. I've been running for 12 years. There's really no surprises anymore. Kami is like, I was just running and I hit 2.5 miles and realized I could just run .6 more and it would be 5K! He was so excited. He's running his first race on September 12. He's just a wee bit ambitious. His goal is to run under 25, and he really wants to run 22 or 23. He's never run faster than 28 or 29. It makes me laugh, but you never know what K can do.

And El Guerrouj winning the 1500m, beyond inspirational. He has been the best mileist in the world for more than 8 years. He lost in Atlanta, falling, and became a running monk for 4 more years. He did nothing but eat, sleep and run. Then he was outleaned in Sydney - and trained for four more years. And finally, here in Greece he won. He fell to the ground and prayed, and I have never seen such joy in other competitors for his gold. The Kenyans who he had just beaten were on top of him, hugging him, congratulating him, and he was crying. I'm glad he won. Finally.

9:16 p.m. - Aug. 24, 2004

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