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friday the thirteenth

Packing up has been a stressful and emotional experience. I've been throwing away so many things that remind me of old friends and old flames. It brings back happy times I'd forgotten and painful times I'd let go of.

Perhaps it's best that so many of my friends are out of town at the moment. K has gone, of course. My two best girlfriends are in Toronto and New York respectively. While saying goodbye to them earlier was painful, it makes moving out a little less overwhelming.

I've found myself in late night conversations the last couple nights. I was still really on East Coast time, so I was fighting to keep my eyes open and stop yawning, but I didn't want to lose the chance to have a last conversation with friends. I hate this concept of a "last conversation."

They say moving is one of the top ten most stressful things a person does in their lifetime. Of course, I don't have many things, and there is only myself to worry about, so my stress level isn't that high. Still, the combination of hauling heavy box after heavy box down from my third floor residence and the sadness has made me on edge and ready to break.

I just wish something was different. I'm not sure what. No option is perfect, and this option I chose, I thought to be the best. Yet I made my choice very much on the basis of taking an interesting job rather than being close to people I care about. I may not stay in Washington. I may choose to gain valuable experience and then move on . . . to someplace closer to friends and family.

12:26 p.m. - Aug. 13, 2004